As a
previously a relationship coach I come across lot of stories which gives me an
opportunity to learn about human behaviour .Stories are the most powerful way
to pass on the messages. I wanted to
share this story because this is one of the reasons why people aren’t able to
maintain the relationship .This have 2 people Numi ,worldy wise but obsessed
about his needs and Tota who again is
worldy wise but have been a phoenix rising from its ashes after every failure.
This story started because Numi showed interest in Tota. Numi was handsome guy
but he was a philosopher like Rumi missing the understanding of human emotions.
Tota being a gal who was talkative and
more of friend in need kinds thought Numi to be the same. Both showed their
interests with thought process of long term future but we forgot Numi never had
been a long term relationship but more of friend with benefits and not
continuing them beyond few months that too with multi-national gals to avoid
the question of the marriage . Moment it popped up relationship was doomed for
failure. While our Tota was so
different she believed in the relationships for long term but have been cheated
on early on. Both has unresolved issues in their life that they forgot to deal
with while trying to build the castle of their dreams. Numi could not be held
responsible for anything in his life while Tota had been troubled so much that
she used to take everything to her heart and felt responsible for other fault
as well. But why ? is the question. How this relationship was doomed to fail
from start . The spark of the relationship was gone the moment anxious tota was
always looking for reassurance in the relationship while Numi being the
avoidance cater was dreading from the same and he
wasn’t able to take the seriousness of the relationship. Being the peaceful
temperament and in childhood being ignored for his needs he had adopted the
avoidance strategy to deal in the relationships. He had learnt to numb his
emotions while Tota has learnt to be vocal about her emotions and could express
them easily even when emotions run high. But what she couldn’t take was Numi
lying even though she was sure that he is not cheating on tota by meeting his
friend but need to hide arouse because she questioned him. One difficult conversation they both showed their weak side.
Only learning I could suggest was to atleast move out of this for the time
being . Work on yourself . Change the vibrations you are working on. This
anxiety behavior of tota where everytime she looked for care from her guardian
they had left her to the world to take care of tota ,she was paranoid if this was because she did something wrong and she had developed what we
term it as anxiety in all her relationship . Were they to be blamed ? I don’t
think so . They may be two right individual meeting at the wrong time where
they were dealing from fear rather than love . They both are individuals on
their journey to discover the pattern they have formed in the relationships and
to break free them else this will be repeated again and again in their life
even if they get married they would have faced this issue. Path to improve
themselves if they learn is the beginning of bringing the right peaceful
vibrations in the relationship
Will keep
you posted whether they changed their vibrations on path to build a beautiful
relationship or either of them progressed in life
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